L’ Effed Overs

Ninety degrees, a cruise through the city

My truck throws a piston

The cops show no pity

Well, here is that bastard that towed it away

He says it’s impounded until I can pay

I been effed over here, I been effed over there

I been effed in about the worst ways

I been effed in my head, I been effed in my bed

I been effed till the effing don’t pay

Well, I got home yesterday

What should I see, but a shining black, Cadillac

Waiting for me

Seems that my landlord and his bodyguard

Put all of my furniture out in the yard

Now, I paid my rent, but he wanted more

He lost some battles, but I lost the war

I been effed over here, I been effed over there

I been effed in about the worst ways

I been effed in my head, I been effed in my bed

I been effed till the effing don’t pay

Well, I loved and live with a lady

For the better part of three years

She jilted my affection, tilted my direction

Walked out and left me in tears

Now, the calendar tells me I’m horny

Three years, six months and a day

I need a woman so bad I get ornery

But she’d probably just get in my way, anyway

I been effed over here, I been effed over there

I been effed in about the worst ways

I been effed in my head, I been effed in my bed

I been effed till the effing don’t pay

I’ve got an overabundance of folks I call friends

Who eat my food, drink my wine and take off again

When I’m having good times they will bring me down

When I’m having bad times they’re never around

Well, I’m tired of this game and all of these fakes

It’s always the same, I give and they take

It’s a two-way street, I’ve heard people say

Tell me, where are the painted lines on this highway?

I been effed over here, I been effed over there

I been effed in about the worst ways

I been effed in my head, I been effed in my bed

I been effed till the effing don’t pay

Well, my liver is crying for mercy

But drinkin’ is all that keeps my blues at bay

Puts holes in my wallet and holes in my stomach

But I can’t give it up for a day

I been effed over here, I been effed over there

I been effed in about the worst ways

I been effed in my head, I been effed in my bed

I been effed till the effing don’t pay